by Adrian Ryan
January 21, 2015
Adrian Ryan

Hullooomosexuals! My name is Adrian Ryan, and we need to talk about a thing or two.

Firstly: I am just tickled pinker to be here with you. If you didn’t just fall off the beanstalk, then I am sure I have made your acquaintance some boozy night, on some blinking dance floor, at least once. I have written about gay nightlife, celebrities, and other junk for a paper called The Stranger since God was a little sissy in short pants. I’ve danced every dance, guzzled every cocktail, and tickled every pickle on our salmon-stinking shores. (Some have even called me, “The Michael Musto of Seattle”, but mostly just me, so you can take it with a rim of salt.) I am just thrilled to be acquainted with you again here at… wait… where am I again?

Anyhow. It has been a long cherished dream of mine to have a column where I could just blah, blah, blah my face off about anything that took my fancy fancy – any little thing at all! Like, why is, “dance floor” two words for God’s sake? (The world makes no effing sense!) Or, who the hell keeps calling me that old troll Michael Musto – I’ll kill them where they stand! Pressing gay issues like that.

It has further been my dream to call this hypothetical column A.Ryan Nation. HA! A.Ryan Nation! But I’ve pitched that title to everyone from Dan Savage to Dan Savage’s unpaid intern at the time, and everyone seems to have a certain reticence to the idea. Weird. (When I suggested it to Robert Roth of this here site you’re enjoying, even he looked queasy for a second until he worked up the steam to slap my face and tell me to grow the fuck up already.) And so here we are.

And so it begins!

So brace yourself! Gird your loins! Count your chickens! Pay your piper and release your hounds! I shall be meeting with you henceforward in this space right here to knock around all sorts of fascinating this-es and thats: celebrity interviews and insider-y whisperings? Oh yes. A cock-eyed take on current pertinent worldly happenings? Indeed. Advice, opinions, events and drag queens from celling to floor? Film, music, naked Justin Biebers? Just you wait!

I think that this shall be the start of a long and beautiful, long and beautiful thing.