Select Page

Adrian Ryan

Adrian Ryan, long established as the Gayest Gay in Seattle™, is probably most recognizable as a longtime Stranger senior contributing writer and columnist, raconteur, and a big ginger. He has written close to infinity words on celebrity, politics, life, and gayness in general, and his writings have appeared in many things, including The Stranger’s Guide to Seattle, Mommie’s Little Girl: Susie Bright on Sex, Motherhood and Cherry Pie, a bunch of stuff he forgets, and his very own Way Too Gay Seattle Survival Guide. In his spare time, he enjoys imagining that he has spare time and buckets of wine. He is secretly in love with Bernie Sanders, and thinks Adam Sandler is the devil.
Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 4)

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 4)

Continued from Part 3 “So how does it feel to know your own death?” I did my very best to do as Mother Nature was clearly (and loudly) demanding me to do: dive into my fresh, free, and newly single life as a gay, and amazingly HIV-free young ‘mo living in bleak and...

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 3)

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 3)

Continued from Part 2 The question staring me in the face was serious and pressing: how was I to blossom forth as the egregious slut that I was obviously destined to be, but without killing myself — and/or somebody else — in the process. After all, one man’s meat was...

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 2)

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 2)

Continued from Part 1 Cough, cough — hack! It was either just a good old-fashioned dose of psycho-somatic terrorism or God was exercising Her infamous sense of humour again, but after my, “you’re HIV negative, I guess, but please check back for the rest of your...

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 1)

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 1)

When I was in the fifth grade some nasty little skin-turd called Mike Denney screamed at me across the classroom: “Hey, faggot! How does it feel to know your own death?” Ha, ha, ha! Everyone burst out laughing. He was talking about AIDS, of course. As bullies always...

Shut Up I’m Talking: Where Do We Go From Here?

Shut Up I’m Talking: Where Do We Go From Here?

It’s no secret. There’s no use mincing words (as much as I do enjoy a good mincing). Capitol Hill has fallen, and she just can’t get up. Roving hordes of date-rapey, fag-bashy tech bros and feckless woo girls on an endless bachelorette bender have landed, and they’ve...

Shut Up I’m Talking: Meet Blaine From Butte

Shut Up I’m Talking: Meet Blaine From Butte

Hullooomosexuals! Did you miss me while I was ever so far away, exploring the misty mountains of Montana? Well of course you did. I missed the heck out of you right back, believe you me. My yearly sojourn to visit my beloved Montana family is the very soul and...

Shut Up, I’m Talking: Get On My Lawn!

Shut Up, I’m Talking: Get On My Lawn!

Wait…. what? Oh, yeah! Pride! It’s totally happening, you guys. Can you feel it? (I hear it begins as a tingle in the kooch…) Doesn’t it seem like we had one of these, like, just last year? (I still have the damn sunburn. Ginger, you know.) Now, please understand: I...

Shut Up I’m Talking: The Blind (Items) Leading the Blind (Items)!

Shut Up I’m Talking: The Blind (Items) Leading the Blind (Items)!

I’m so sorry, dearest gaymos. Dreadful news. Now, I know how emotionally fragile we can all be about such things, so I need you to sit down, take a few deep breaths (preferably through a huge piece of hand-blown glassware), and brace your delicate soul for some...

Shut Up I’m Talking: Big Revealings

Shut Up I’m Talking: Big Revealings

Hullomosexuals! And happiest Pride Month 2015 to you all! Just please to not get me started on bringing the Pride Parade back to Broadway. There are not enough pixels on the whole damn internet at this point… Anyway! Three important things we must discuss: Firstly:...

Shut Up I’m Talking: A Savage Sitcom, A Celebrity-Free SIFF

Shut Up I’m Talking: A Savage Sitcom, A Celebrity-Free SIFF

Holy mother of puss! ATTENTION! ATTENTION! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Dan Savage’s new sitcom trailer has been released! Move toward the exits. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Watch it! Quick! And all I can say about it is two things… Thing the first: Martha Plimpton...