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Shut Up I’m Talking

Shut Up I’m Talking

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 4)

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 4)

Continued from Part 3 “So how does it feel to know your own death?” I did my very best to do as Mother Nature was clearly (and loudly) demanding me to do: dive into my fresh, free, and newly single life as a gay, and amazingly HIV-free young ‘mo living in bleak and...

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 3)

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 3)

Continued from Part 2 The question staring me in the face was serious and pressing: how was I to blossom forth as the egregious slut that I was obviously destined to be, but without killing myself — and/or somebody else — in the process. After all, one man’s meat was...

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 2)

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 2)

Continued from Part 1 Cough, cough — hack! It was either just a good old-fashioned dose of psycho-somatic terrorism or God was exercising Her infamous sense of humour again, but after my, “you’re HIV negative, I guess, but please check back for the rest of your...

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 1)

Shut Up I’m Talking: Riding the Chemical Condom (Part 1)

When I was in the fifth grade some nasty little skin-turd called Mike Denney screamed at me across the classroom: “Hey, faggot! How does it feel to know your own death?” Ha, ha, ha! Everyone burst out laughing. He was talking about AIDS, of course. As bullies always...

Shut Up I’m Talking: Where Do We Go From Here?

Shut Up I’m Talking: Where Do We Go From Here?

It’s no secret. There’s no use mincing words (as much as I do enjoy a good mincing). Capitol Hill has fallen, and she just can’t get up. Roving hordes of date-rapey, fag-bashy tech bros and feckless woo girls on an endless bachelorette bender have landed, and they’ve...

Shut Up I’m Talking: Meet Blaine From Butte

Shut Up I’m Talking: Meet Blaine From Butte

Hullooomosexuals! Did you miss me while I was ever so far away, exploring the misty mountains of Montana? Well of course you did. I missed the heck out of you right back, believe you me. My yearly sojourn to visit my beloved Montana family is the very soul and...

Shut Up, I’m Talking: Get On My Lawn!

Shut Up, I’m Talking: Get On My Lawn!

Wait…. what? Oh, yeah! Pride! It’s totally happening, you guys. Can you feel it? (I hear it begins as a tingle in the kooch…) Doesn’t it seem like we had one of these, like, just last year? (I still have the damn sunburn. Ginger, you know.) Now, please understand: I...

Shut Up I’m Talking: Big Revealings

Shut Up I’m Talking: Big Revealings

Hullomosexuals! And happiest Pride Month 2015 to you all! Just please to not get me started on bringing the Pride Parade back to Broadway. There are not enough pixels on the whole damn internet at this point… Anyway! Three important things we must discuss: Firstly:...