One of the most difficult things for anyone to experience is a breakup, especially one that leaves us with unresolved questions. We wonder what we might have done differently. We mentally put ourselves through all sorts of emotionally fraught scenarios imagining how we could get back together with the one who got away. The internal questions never seem to cease. It’s hard!

This week’s heartfelt question reflects the sort of pain and yearning that many of us are all too familiar with. Anonymous asks: I would like to know if M thinks about me and if she wants to be with me. I also would like to know if we’ll be together.

Anon, let’s see what the cards have to say.

I used the Star Spread for this reading because, in addition to giving you a fairly straightforward answer to your question, it can also provide food for thought: what are positive ways to cope with your situation?

Let’s find out.

Card 1: (What the reality is now) The Ace of Pentacles

This card often heralds the beginning of new prosperity. Think new job, new apartment or home, or new investments. Because this card is seen here in its most positive aspect, it may also refer to the concept of the Elements of Earth–the physical and spiritual being in perfect harmony with each other and manifesting in our lives in a sacred way. So, we’re talking about wealth and joy in the same package. Love and sex, the physical and the spiritual meshing together to bring joy and fulfillment.

What this card may mean in a love spread may be that the focus of your beloved has recently been on new work or a new home. It could be that a new job helps them cope with their own sense of loss. On the other hand, the card could be pointing out your own focus–creating right livelihood or a finding relationship where both sexual and emotional needs are fulfilled for both partners. You may finally be discovering that it truly is the kind of relationship you want in your life.

Card 2: (Advice for the situation) The Empress

Self-love is the best path for you at this time! As a result of your bruised feelings, you may not have been feeling your best. You may have forgotten your own worth, and need to remember all of the beautiful, positive things you bring to the table. It may be time for a bit of a makeover! Pamper yourself, and treat yourself like you deserve to be cherished, admired and loved unconditionally.

Here’s some homework for you. Make yourself a candlelit meal at home. Relax in a bubble bath. Treat yourself to a new outfit. Do things for yourself that reinforce the idea that you are beautiful and you deserve it! And, if you don’t feel all that gorgeous, get thee to the spa, post haste!

Card 3: (Your biggest hurdle) The King of Pentacles

On one hand, Mr. King of Pentacles may be saying that you need to get over a reluctance to invest in yourself. Don’t be cheap. On the other hand, you may need to be careful about looking at relationships as an investment rather than experiencing the joy of actually being in the relationship. In other words, you may constantly worry about where the relationship is going–so much so, that you can’t actually enjoy it because you’re too worried about whether your investment will pay off.

Card 4 (Positive uses of your energy at this time) The 9 of Wands

Patience, Grasshopper! This card is saying: Don’t give up!  Watching and waiting is a better strategy. Hang tough, and you may see success. But, don’t trust blindly–wait and see how things shake out. This is a great time to explore your own tenacity and determine whether it’s appropriate in this situation or not. My sense is that your relationship needs a bit of time for both parties to heal and conquer their fear of being hurt again.

Ace of Swords

Card 5 (More positive actions) The Ace of Swords

Make an effort! And, when I say that I mean make a real effort, though it may cost you. The Ace denotes new beginnings, and Swords rule communication. So, the onus is on you to initiate conversation with the one you’re feeling so estranged from. This will most likely be difficult for you, and will require a lot of bravery on your part. But, if you’re willing to go for it, your efforts have a much better chance of success. Somebody has to speak first. In this case, it looks like you’re up.

Card 6 (The answer to your question) 8 of Cups, reversed

One very old connotation of the reversed 8 of Cups is that of a returning lover. I’d say that chances are good for a reconciliation between you and your ex. However, Tarot is never that simple, so I’d like you to consider something. Often, the 8 of Cups in its upright position talks about someone leaving a situation they found draining or unsatisfactory, in order to search for something more meaningful. If this was the case, you should consider the reasons why you want to get back together with your ex. If it’s right, go for it–just make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons!

Wrapping It Up

Anon, it looks like you have a chance to reconcile with your ex, and restore your relationship– but some things may need to change. Beware of becoming so focused on where the relationship is going that you forget to enjoy the journey! The best thing you can do for yourself is to remember that your self-esteem comes from within, not your partner, and not your relationship status. Go for it if it feels right. But be prepared to make the first move! It’s up to you.

Submit your question to Raven now using the form here. Each week, Raven will choose a question and perform a personal Tarot card reading, offering her advice, insight, and wisdom based on what the cards say.