Photo by Reed Davis

Deven Green is seven and a half feet tall. Ok, maybe not, but she still looms over you in that fabulous way only someone with such statuesque beauty can do. No matter how tall she is, though, with her talent for music and a truly rapier sharp wit, she’s definitely a force to be reckoned with.

Green is an award-winning performer (according to her website) and a viral sensation (according to her hundreds of thousands of online followers) known especially for her performances as Mrs. Betty Bowers (written by Andrew Bradley) as well as bringing the word “vagine” into popular, everyday usage in her hilarious “Welcome to My Home” videos.

She’s agreed to share with me the secret of just what makes her so awesome, as long as I asked nicely.

Hello famous lady!

Well Hello… hooker!

I appreciate the opportunity to interview you. It forces me to include my fangirl-ing deliberately instead of making it sound like casual, spontaneous gushing.

I want you to gush. I appreciate the amount of moisture you can create!

I’m sure you’ll forgive me for being such a big fan though, because you’re so amazing. Why are you so amazing?

Dear, I can’t help it! It’s people like YOU who make me feel special. YOU hear what I am saying. YOU want more so I put out harder. My voice resonates with YOU which means the world to me… and that wasn’t acting! I know I am quite insincere when I talk but I truly, truly mean it.

I really enjoy your gift for satire. Creating smart, thoughtful, and, most importantly, humorous satire is hard, but you make it look so easy. How do you do pull that off so well?

It’s like turning a trick to make a quick sawbuck in a toilet cubicle… I’m sure you are familiar. I see you nodding in the affirmative. Satire and parody are very easy to do… poorly. I like to balance smart and funny with a handful of absurd and a fistful of willful ignorance.

With the current American political climate, though, it’s almost as if satire or humor isn’t even necessary anymore.

Very astute. Consider an occupation where you use words, Robert.

Yeah, that or politics. Speaking of, does Trump have some kind of secret agenda to put humorists and satirists out of work?

Secret agenda? No. He was very transparent in his quest to build his “brand.” Which is different from uniting a country.

Your home country now has possibly the most amazing Prime Minister ever. What do you think of Justin?

I love living in Los Angeles but I invite all of you to visit beautiful Canada should the occasion arise–just say I sent you. Justin Trudeau is listening to the people and his tangible empathy is his strength. He didn’t just walk in the Pride parade for visibility. He has been attending for years.

Can you get me his number?

Of course! Here is his fax: 613-941-6900

Photos courtesy of Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics.

What would you say are the most important components of humor?

Motherboard, processor, memory, power supply, graphics card… oh, oh sorry. I didn’t read the word “humour” in your question.

Don’t make me throw your tea into the “harbour.”

In addition to doing satire and comedy, you’re a model, musician, advice columnist, and professional ice skater, among other things. What are a few professions you’d like to try out next?

They are all the same thing: performance. I don’t see them as separate professions. They have a symbiotic relationship so they are not separate entities. Comedy has a narrative, as does an image or a video I create. I am truly happy when I get up in the morning… and even happier when I figure out where the hell I am and make my way home.

Besides your other myriad accomplishments, you’ve also appeared on the Emmy Award-winning television program RuPaul’s Drag Race. What was that like? Does anything you’ve done since even compare?

Great question. See! I can’t help but judge others.

RuPaul has been a champion of my comedy since day one. Both Ru and Michelle Visage are personal friends and I respect and love them both. I have known Nadya Gingsburg for years and she makes me truly laugh. Michelle, Nadya, and I had a great panel together at RuPaul’s DragCon 2016 called “Women Who Love Drag.” But if you listen to “What’s The Tee” this one podcast will change your life.

Your musical acts always include some fairly eclectic smashups. What have been some of your favorites?

I can put any song together but the lyrics must also make sense. I like medleys such as playing 13 songs from the 1980s in 3 minutes or a highlight of The Pixies tunes. For mashups I like putting Pachelbel’s Canon in D with Blink 182 or, mashing up The Beatles with Oasis. And, I would like to put you on my lap.

You would like that. I’m very cuddly.

I want to have you prance around wearing a little tail but until such time I invite you to the Unicorn-Narwhal Sept 28th for my first Seattle performance ever. I can guarantee I will make you happy.